Memphis/Nashville Flights

So the flight out was primed to be a rough one. The pre-boarding cast included the normal group of kids and elderly, but also a handicapped person that had the special wheelchair with the tray and neck piece and 2 blind women (where one had their seeing dog). Pre-boarding alone took 20 minutes. I am usually beyond impatient when it comes to Airline staff efficiency in these situations, but since we were due to arrive before my sis, no big deal. When I got to my seat, I got hit again...mother and baby in the middle seat next to me.

I really can't complain. I've had a Cal Ripken-esque streak going without a kid in any row near me for over 6 years now. The last time was when I was flying back from Mardi Gras on Southwest with my friend and there was no joke FIVE babies within the immediate 4 rows around me. The baby in the row directly in front of me was screaming so violently...it would stop crying to catch its' breath and we all knew the next round was about to start. As soon as one baby stopped crying, another one would start. I guess its better that a bunch weren't going off at once, but after a 5-day bender in New Orleans, 2 hours of a screaming baby was pretty rough. I just remember being shocked that the mother was not doing ANYTHING to comfort this baby. We constantly checked to make sure it was not being injured because it was screaming that bad.

The flight home from Memphis...my great luck struck again. Except this time I was the middle seat and the mother/baby was against the window. It's almost too perfect, but right as the captain announced "we have made our ascent to 30,000 feet"...the baby made a descent into her diaper. The REALLY foul smell lasted only for 5 minutes or so then it waned. OK, enough of this potty talk for tonight.

Welcome to my Inferno

So I have been quite busy and this is a story I've meant to post for some time. When my roommate cooks chicken, he puts the stove on HIGH and just throws the chicken on the frying pan (no SPAM or nothing). You know what you get? A LOT of smoke. Our apartment completely fills with smoke where I either go for a walk or I go in my bedroom, shut the door, and start playing curse songs on my guitar.

Living in a high rise, we don't have windows you can open...so whats the solution? Open the front door of course and let the smoke pour into the hallway! He cooks this usually 2x a week. I told him "You know, if you oil the pan and cook it on Medium...you can avoid all this smoke and your chicken won't be black on the outside." His response, "Thats how I like it." Wonderful. Of course he doesn't believe in using the dishwasher for pans so all the pans are charcoal black. Whenever I fry eggs, they come out black. Lovely.

The video I captured here is the chicken being on the pan for the first 30 seconds...multiply the smoke x8 because he leaves the chicken on there for 4 minutes. It seems kind of weak, but the smoke is much thicker on the real video.


The obvious question is: Don't you own smoke detectors?
The obvious answer is: Umm...I think so? They went off once actually, but yeah, I bet he pulled the batteries out.