Monday, June 30, 2008

Wedding Time


So I had back to back weddings the last 2 weekends. Both great times, but the one this past weekend took the cake with shenanigans. I stayed in the Brookshire Suites in Baltimore Friday night. The father of the groom covered a 4 hour open bar at this Irish pub which pretty much did everyone in. We all went out afterwards...I woke up to what I felt was obviously someone jumping on me in the bed. I turn over and see this 7-foot, furry shark on top of me.

The shark mascot for the National Aquarium, Mr. Bite, always joins the guests for the free, continental breakfast at 8:00AM. My friends (correctly) thought it would be hilarious to have Mr. Bite personally wake me up. He agreed and they took the elevator down with him to our room. I had no idea what was going on when I turned over and saw this thing lying in bed next to me. I will upload the pictures of that once I get them from my friend.

As for the wedding: Being the slackers the 3 of us were, we decided to skip the free shuttle to the wedding and relax for an extra half hour and instead take a cab. Good thing we did, the bus broke down on I-83 with no A/C and the windows don't roll down. All the older women had their make-up running and everyone was SOAKING wet with sweat. Luckily, they get the bus fixed to make the show on time.

The groom's parents flew up their priest from their local church in Jacksonville, FL. He was a good man, but didn't seem to be all there at times. During the ceremony he referred to the bride and groom as "Sean and Eric" instead of "Sean and Erin". And during his prayer at the reception, he asked that God bless this fine day of "June 22nd" even though it was "June 28th". All good though.

As for the reception...oh lord. There was a 2-hour cocktail hour. The dance floor and bar was outside and the tables for eating where inside. So everyone was outside in the hot, summer heat for 2 hours. A lot of sweating. The bride's step dad, who rarely drinks, reportedly had 8 shots of bourbon upon arrival. All I know is he was helped down to the main sidewalk, which all the tourists were using and our party is right off of, where he began puking everywhere. He was plopped in a chair and just yacking away. This yacht pulled up right next to him/us where there was a reception going on and we could all see them laughing/horrified by the scene. Classic!

I remember talking to one of my friends when behind me I heard a distinct "splat" noise without any other accompanying noise (such as a bottle breaking or cup hitting the ground). I turned around and of course my friend had just puked. The heat and open bar was taking a toll. After dinner the bride's step mom had not improved. He was walked into the lobby area where they plopped him on one of the hotel bell carts and tried moving him around that way.

He was grey as could be and not able to keep his eyes open. At that point they called an ambulance where he was gurney'd away. Thankfully he is OK, but not a fun moment for the bride. The party never lost a beat though and most people were oblivious to it. My one friend, who was well beyond 'feeling good' saw the bouquet and launched it across the room. Well, it happened to strike one of the bridesmaids in the face which triggered an avalanche of tears. Some apologies from all parties and the party continues. Another friend was walking with her phone in her hand and it popped out and right into the bay. Gone. Haha. My favorite part of the night was when the groom and groom's dad were jumping in the air for House of Pain's "Jump Around." They slightly bumped each other and that sent the groom's dad flying. He did the long, out-of-control staggering nad took out several people including this girl in a red dress. What a show. Here are some pics and video of the night...unfortunately none of the great stuff was caught on video.

http://picasaweb.google.com/ewoldt/WhiteWedding/photo#s5217754043629201106

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