Ewok In Sydney

TV is gone...

2008-09-09T08:06:00.000-07:00

So most people are aware of my current dilemma where my (roommate's) 60" TV is gone. I woke up Saturday morning elated to watch the beginning of college football to find the TV gone. My roommate had sold it. Great timing. First weekend of college and NFL football, the start of Entourage, and also the MTV Awards show. He had no clue. The new TV (a 72") isn't arriving for a week. I was like "Dude, you couldn't sell it on Tuesday?"

This has been a building issue...for the Men's Olympics Basketball Semi-finals game, I woke up at 8AM to watch the game and the Comcast box was missing. He had taken it to get a new one even though the day before I had asked him to wait until AFTER the Olympics bball game...it was a Saturday after all. I watched the first half at Clyde's and returned home for the second half hoping he'd be back...and sure enough, he was and TV was already on the game. Great. As I threw myself on the couch..before my feet even hit the ottoman, there was a knock at the door. 2nd half tip just went off. It was an Iranian woman looking to "see" the TV. Now, I was watching the show in HD...so of course what's her first question? "Can I see the old movie channel?" She had no idea which channel she needed. My roommate start scrolling through the channels (not menu...actual channels). Game off...that took 5 seconds. After 60 seconds of pinching my leg, she pulls out some DVDs she wants to try. I immediately grab my keys and head to the Green Turtle. I watched the 2nd half with some great people...immediately after the game I go home and she had JUST left. She was there over an hour and half...and of course she didn't buy the TV....ha. What a mess.

So life without TV has been good I guess. I ran into an old friend catching the Sunday night game at Rocket bar, and I've begun trying to learn the guitar again. I still stink miserably so I got that going for me, which is nice.

Memphis/Nashville Flights

2008-08-25T20:45:00.000-07:00

So the flight out was primed to be a rough one. The pre-boarding cast included the normal group of kids and elderly, but also a handicapped person that had the special wheelchair with the tray and neck piece and 2 blind women (where one had their seeing dog). Pre-boarding alone took 20 minutes. I am usually beyond impatient when it comes to Airline staff efficiency in these situations, but since we were due to arrive before my sis, no big deal. When I got to my seat, I got hit again...mother and baby in the middle seat next to me.

I really can't complain. I've had a Cal Ripken-esque streak going without a kid in any row near me for over 6 years now. The last time was when I was flying back from Mardi Gras on Southwest with my friend and there was no joke FIVE babies within the immediate 4 rows around me. The baby in the row directly in front of me was screaming so violently...it would stop crying to catch its' breath and we all knew the next round was about to start. As soon as one baby stopped crying, another one would start. I guess its better that a bunch weren't going off at once, but after a 5-day bender in New Orleans, 2 hours of a screaming baby was pretty rough. I just remember being shocked that the mother was not doing ANYTHING to comfort this baby. We constantly checked to make sure it was not being injured because it was screaming that bad.

The flight home from Memphis...my great luck struck again. Except this time I was the middle seat and the mother/baby was against the window. It's almost too perfect, but right as the captain announced "we have made our ascent to 30,000 feet"...the baby made a descent into her diaper. The REALLY foul smell lasted only for 5 minutes or so then it waned. OK, enough of this potty talk for tonight.

Welcome to my Inferno

2008-08-19T05:22:00.000-07:00

So I have been quite busy and this is a story I've meant to post for some time. When my roommate cooks chicken, he puts the stove on HIGH and just throws the chicken on the frying pan (no SPAM or nothing). You know what you get? A LOT of smoke. Our apartment completely fills with smoke where I either go for a walk or I go in my bedroom, shut the door, and start playing curse songs on my guitar.

Living in a high rise, we don't have windows you can open...so whats the solution? Open the front door of course and let the smoke pour into the hallway! He cooks this usually 2x a week. I told him "You know, if you oil the pan and cook it on Medium...you can avoid all this smoke and your chicken won't be black on the outside." His response, "Thats how I like it." Wonderful. Of course he doesn't believe in using the dishwasher for pans so all the pans are charcoal black. Whenever I fry eggs, they come out black. Lovely.

The video I captured here is the chicken being on the pan for the first 30 seconds...multiply the smoke x8 because he leaves the chicken on there for 4 minutes. It seems kind of weak, but the smoke is much thicker on the real video.

The obvious question is: Don't you own smoke detectors?
The obvious answer is: Umm...I think so? They went off once actually, but yeah, I bet he pulled the batteries out.

Roger Mason Jr, Fundraiser Party

2008-07-29T19:57:00.000-07:00

You can view my write-up and some videos of the event here...
http://aherninquirer.blogspot.com/2008/07/andray-blatche-has-nice-formthrows.html

Private Tour of Nationals Park

2008-07-26T15:40:00.000-07:00

So my friends and I got a private tour of the new Nationals Park. Highlights were the $400K/per year suite, the locker room and the dugout. The 'President's Club' seating (which are the seats pictured behind me) have access to a private bar which has windows that allow you to see batters take batting practice during the game. The batting cage is just inside the dugout steps and players use it quite often during the game .

I also got to throw a pitch in the Nats bullpen which was entertaining. They had a fake batter setup where people are suppose to throw strikes but of course I went for the plastic batter. I just missed but gave it some good chin music (video in link).

http://picasaweb.google.com/ewoldt/NatsParkTour/photo#s5227452129608371394

Cruefest

2008-07-14T11:45:00.000-07:00

So after a nice weekend with the family in PA...I drove back to DC since my friend scored 2 free tix to Cruefest (Motley Crue, Buckcherry, Sixx AM, Trapt, and Papa Roach). It was absolutely monsooning most of the show but it cleared up by the time the Crue came on stage. It was a great set as always...here's the opening.

The scene in the parking lot was white-trashy as could be. There were a lot of really young kids there dressed so inappropriately I cannot even begin to explain. There were mullets everywhere and I was in the minority of people wearing a t-shirt. Either way, the Crue put on an amazing show, and I was extremely surprised at how good Buckcherry was. I downloaded their 3 albums this morning and all 3 are quality. I look forward to seeing them again.

Shark Attack

2008-07-06T17:31:00.000-07:00

So here are the pictures from the last wedding I was at where my friends ran into the Aquarium mascot in the hotel and had it wake me up. Full story is here.

Party @ the Iceland Embassy

2008-07-03T06:19:00.001-07:00

So my friend Joe and I hit a party last night at the Iceland Embassy. When we first walked in, my first reaction was 'this is going to suck.' But things changed pretty quick. The party was at the Ambassador's gorgeous house in NW DC off Mass Ave.

Now, as a habit, I usually bring back a bottle of liquor from whatever country I visit. Two years ago, I was sitting in the Reykjavik airport on the way home upset I failed in my task. Since the airport was busy, an old lady asked to share my table. She immediately started talking about "Black Death"...an Icelandic icon and that it was available at duty free. I picked up a bottle and brought it back to the States. My friends absolutely HATED this liquor. It's good for getting you bombed and sparking dry heaves on the way down. It took a year to finish which says everything about its flavor. I actually don't mind it that much. To describe it, I'd say it's a clear liquor with a faint licorice kick at the end.

When I was talking with the Ambassador, I asked him "What? No Black Death at this party?" He looked at me sternly but grinning and replied "You want some?" I replied "Absolutely." He walked into the back and emerged with a frozen bottle of Black Death (real name Brennivin). He plopped it on the bar and we got after it. Not sure where or how but a 2nd bottle emerged that I wanted no part of. All in all and we met some great people, and I definitely look forward to the next one.

Freezing the bottle and shot glasses was huge. The bottle that we drank in the States was room temperature for the first half of the bottle. He said it is also custom to chase it with Viking beer, another key step we didn't know.

Nigerian Scam Letters (Part I)

2008-07-02T10:59:00.001-07:00

So my cousin has been forwarding me some of those email scam letters he gets from Africa. Some of them are too funny not to post, here's a recent one:

Subject: A little token for a email that i hope finds you well...

my name is mongo bongo and i am the prince of a little known island in the strait of Magellan. i lost 50 "fifty" million dollars and need your bank account information to find it. once you give me the information i will deposit 1 "one" million dollars into your account you greedy little bored email reader. please respond immediately or my hands will be cut off.

yours in peace, war and prosperity,

mongo bongo

Wedding Time

2008-06-30T07:49:00.001-07:00

So I had back to back weddings the last 2 weekends. Both great times, but the one this past weekend took the cake with shenanigans. I stayed in the Brookshire Suites in Baltimore Friday night. The father of the groom covered a 4 hour open bar at this Irish pub which pretty much did everyone in. We all went out afterwards...I woke up to what I felt was obviously someone jumping on me in the bed. I turn over and see this 7-foot, furry shark on top of me.

The shark mascot for the National Aquarium, Mr. Bite, always joins the guests for the free, continental breakfast at 8:00AM. My friends (correctly) thought it would be hilarious to have Mr. Bite personally wake me up. He agreed and they took the elevator down with him to our room. I had no idea what was going on when I turned over and saw this thing lying in bed next to me. I will upload the pictures of that once I get them from my friend.

As for the wedding: Being the slackers the 3 of us were, we decided to skip the free shuttle to the wedding and relax for an extra half hour and instead take a cab. Good thing we did, the bus broke down on I-83 with no A/C and the windows don't roll down. All the older women had their make-up running and everyone was SOAKING wet with sweat. Luckily, they get the bus fixed to make the show on time.

The groom's parents flew up their priest from their local church in Jacksonville, FL. He was a good man, but didn't seem to be all there at times. During the ceremony he referred to the bride and groom as "Sean and Eric" instead of "Sean and Erin". And during his prayer at the reception, he asked that God bless this fine day of "June 22nd" even though it was "June 28th". All good though.

As for the reception...oh lord. There was a 2-hour cocktail hour. The dance floor and bar was outside and the tables for eating where inside. So everyone was outside in the hot, summer heat for 2 hours. A lot of sweating. The bride's step dad, who rarely drinks, reportedly had 8 shots of bourbon upon arrival. All I know is he was helped down to the main sidewalk, which all the tourists were using and our party is right off of, where he began puking everywhere. He was plopped in a chair and just yacking away. This yacht pulled up right next to him/us where there was a reception going on and we could all see them laughing/horrified by the scene. Classic!

I remember talking to one of my friends when behind me I heard a distinct "splat" noise without any other accompanying noise (such as a bottle breaking or cup hitting the ground). I turned around and of course my friend had just puked. The heat and open bar was taking a toll. After dinner the bride's step mom had not improved. He was walked into the lobby area where they plopped him on one of the hotel bell carts and tried moving him around that way.

He was grey as could be and not able to keep his eyes open. At that point they called an ambulance where he was gurney'd away. Thankfully he is OK, but not a fun moment for the bride. The party never lost a beat though and most people were oblivious to it. My one friend, who was well beyond 'feeling good' saw the bouquet and launched it across the room. Well, it happened to strike one of the bridesmaids in the face which triggered an avalanche of tears. Some apologies from all parties and the party continues. Another friend was walking with her phone in her hand and it popped out and right into the bay. Gone. Haha. My favorite part of the night was when the groom and groom's dad were jumping in the air for House of Pain's "Jump Around." They slightly bumped each other and that sent the groom's dad flying. He did the long, out-of-control staggering nad took out several people including this girl in a red dress. What a show. Here are some pics and video of the night...unfortunately none of the great stuff was caught on video.

http://picasaweb.google.com/ewoldt/WhiteWedding/photo#s5217754043629201106

Obesity

2008-06-25T07:32:00.000-07:00

So an article just came out in the Sydney Herald stating that Australia just beat out the U.S. as the fattest nation in the world. I don't know who or by what methods they came by this result, but whoever wrote this article has obviously never been to the US. Let me describe my day to you YESTERDAY, and this is just ONE DAY.

8:15 AM - Walking up the Metro escalator at my stop for work. There is a person so obese that I cannot pass. And I'm not talking about it being a close squeeze to get by...I mean a walking toothpick could not have made it by either (yes, I know I am walking tooth pick too, so save that joke Pete).

5:27PM - On the jammed Metro home. Someone farted really bad, and I'm talking about one of those hanging wet ones that just will not die. Cannot move. Everyone is looking around. This has nothing to do with obesity...just miserable.

5:34PM - Order my burrito at Chipotle. The guy asks the person behind me for her order. I move over as much as I can, but I don't realize my backpack is still blocking her. Lady bumps me..."EXCUSE ME!!" (in a mean voice). I look back...lady is probably 240 pounds. An array of insults pop into my head to fire back with. My Catholic upbringing throws up the filters and none of them make it through. I roll my eyes and ignore her.

8:25PM - I am sitting upright in my seat at the Nationals game (not leaning back or anything). I get hit in the back of the head. I look back and a person continues walking down the row...their fat hanging off their sides is what hit me in the head. Roll my eyes again.

Now, even though yesterday was an above average day, it was still rather a common thing. Having lived in Sydney, that never happened once that I can recall. Although obesity is a sad thing, people need to help themselves first. I had said at one point that the government should force all fast-food restaurants to make their doors 16 inches wide, and only those people that fit through can eat there. That would solve 2 problems:

1.) It would prevent obese people from the temptations of poor food.
2.) It would help lower the sky-rocketing health care costs of obesity.
(Not to mention it would be comical to see the borderline people get wedged)

The New York Times reported how EMS and hospitals have been complaining that today's ambulances are no longer strong enough to transport the weight of some people. THAT IS RIDICULOUS.

My AC is fixed...life is good!!!

2008-06-20T15:02:00.000-07:00

Hallelujah. Finally, we have it working. So what does my roommate do?! Set the thermostat to 82. 82! Are you kidding me?! My roommate's girlfriend is in town and laid down the law before I got home that it's staying at 72. So now the only problem is the AC door is in our living room and it is loud as SHIT! You know when you deboard a plane on the runway and the engines are still going....that's exactly what my AC sounds like. Can a brotha get a break here? Jesus! The current temperature in my apartment as I type this is I can see my breath...perfect. My street is VERY noisy as it is so the AC won't phase me for a second. I can't wait to blog about the religious protesters that are DAILY outside my building. Get your popcorn ready for this one..ridiculous. And I'll have video. I have a wedding today/Saturday. Glorious pictures to come from that for sure. Nats won in the 14th inning tonight. Screech (pictured above) did NOT want to take a pic with me. I demanded and he refuted..hence the pose.

Guess who's back

2008-06-19T06:04:00.000-07:00

So I've decided to kick up my blog again...there's too much stuff going on not to make it known. The latest is my drama going on with my Air Conditioning. Now, for those don't know...I live in a very nice (ok, luxury) building attached to the Verizon Center. I recently was in London and when I got back is when the 100 degree heat wave hit DC. Stepping off the plane hungover from 5 glorious days with the limeys, the heat punched me square in the face. You know that moment when you first exit the plane door and you get the first taste of the weather? The date was June 9th.

The first text message I received when turning my phone back on was from my roommate, "Sorry, the AC is out...working on it." WHAT?!?! I get back home to find the a/c unit completely off the wall and wires everywhere. He's trying to fix it himself (and no, he does not know anything about electronics). He owns the apartment and hates having to pay for professionals to fix things. Our dryer broke and he tried to fix that himself, which was a disaster. It took him 20 minutes to unscrew the top and all he did was spin the drum. I digress.

me: "you need to call a repair guy immediately."
him: "i've been on the phone with the manufacturer...they're faxing me over the instructions tomorrow."
3 days go by with more excuses. This is about the time I find out the a/c has been out for months and he is just now getting around to fixing it. He promised he'd have it fixed by the weekend (I was going to NYC that following weekend for a friend's bachelor party). I text messaged my roommate on Sunday before leaving NYC:

me: "is it fixed?"
him: "I don't know what's up with these guys, they won't respond."
me: "Nice. Well, for every day the a/c is not fixed, I'm deducting a day's rent."
him: "I'll buy you a fan."
me: "You can buy a new roommate then too."

So more time goes by (it has been cool in DC the last week)...he told me the a/c guy is coming on Wednesday (June 18). I get home yesterday from work and he is messing with the wires.
me: "did the repair guy come?"
him: "yeah, he took a look at it and said he didn't know how to fix it. He has to call in his boss, but he still charged me $167 ".
me: "WHEN IS THE GUY COMING TO FIX THIS?!"
him: "friday"
me: "riiight"

I'll keep you posted. Here are some pics of how it looks now...and what the repair guy came into deal with. My roommate royally F'd this up. You think that's not enough? He decided to paint the living room and his bedroom while we still have no AC. I don't even remember those days now that I think about it.

Can you imagine being a repair guy and coming into this?! I'd walk out too.

Party's Over...Back in D.C.

2008-02-21T08:09:00.000-08:00

So I arrived back in D.C. late Tuesday night. My Mom's 60th birthday dinner was last night (her 2 sisters and husbands took her to a nice restaurant in D.C.). I had it all planned with them to have an extra seat at the table and surprise her. When I tapped her on the shoulder and said "Hi Mom" it was quite comical. She was in shock where she was looking at me and her brain wasn't registering it was me (she still thought I was coming back in March). After a second or two everything caught up and she was elated. My sister and I bought her a family vacation anywhere she wants to go...the 3 of us...so we're going to start planning that. I'll update this blog posting with pictures from the dinner at DC Coast tomorrow...I forgot my USB chord to my camera today.

Life is Good...

2008-02-18T13:19:00.000-08:00

So I'm really hitting my stride here as it's getting closer to my departure date. I've met some amazing people and loads of new friends. In the perfect world, I'd live here for 6 months and in the states for 6 months every year the rest of my life. It's a great time to buy real estate here as well....so it's definitely something to shoot for. I've met a ton of UK people and they are by far my favorite people. Just not a care in the world except having a laugh and anything goes. I definitely look forward to getting over to London for a long weekend because I'd have the full hookup of places to stay and go which I haven't had there before. Pictured above is my roommate Elliot and his UK "friend". haha.

Bondi Beach Sunrises (Part II)

2008-02-13T16:22:00.000-08:00

It rained today so no pics, but the ones from yesterday were slightly better than the day before. It's pretty clear though my camera just isn't up for the challenge. Still pretty nice though....these sunrises remind me a lot of the sunrises on York Rd in Baltimore with the homeless peeing in the streets and shouting jibberish.

Bondi Beach Sunrises...

2008-02-12T15:15:00.000-08:00

So I am in the habit now of waking up at 6:00AM for the sunrise and running back and forth along the 3/4 mile promenade. The beach is super-packed at this hour with all these workout clubs. There is an amazing sunrise picture I want to buy (from the same professional that took the one above)...the problem is it costs a $1K, so I'm trying to catch my own. My camera is good enough for it and has the mega-pixel size needed, but the weather is not cooperating. It's been overcast here 2 straight weeks and the morning sun has not been able to break the clouds...but I have gotten some decent snaps. Here are the pictures from yesterday.

Here are some more from the professional photographer I'm trying to get.

Although now that I think about it, my camera probably will never compare to his Canon 1d MkII ($7500). oh well.

Hunter Valley Winery Tour

2008-02-10T00:16:00.000-08:00

So I did an all day trip today to the Hunter Valley wineries, which is about 2 hours north of Sydney. We stopped at 5 different wineries. I skipped most of the white wines b/c I just really don't like white wine. I tasted some pretty nice Shiraz's, Cabs, and several other types I had never heard of. Here are some photos of the winery trip. One of our stops was at Drayton, which a few weeks ago tragically had a large explosion where their they lost 2 people, including the wine maker who was a Drayton. They had just re-opened after making a make-shift new cellar door (room for tasting wines). We could still see the shredded building and busted vats. Sad story.

Anyone that has visited me in DC surely knows about the bottle of 'Brennivin' (which translates to 'Black Death') I brought back from Iceland.

Well, it took us a year but we finally finished the bottle. It was pretty brutal. So since that challenge is over, it's time for a new one. On the wine tour today this one brewery had some funky different schnapps, and OF COURSE...I bought a bottle for us all back in the States. It's called 'Dragons Breath' and is a Chili schanpps. I had some and it's not that bad...it was actually this winery's best selling bottle, but it definitely packs a punch. Bottoms up! (and yes, that is a chili pepper floating in the bottle).

Ewok Book Club

2008-02-04T15:27:00.000-08:00

So Oprah's book club is crap, not that I have ever seen it once, but I'm sure mine is better. I've read quite a few books since I've been out here and I'll give you the quick reviews. I'm a non-fiction guy...I personally find stories much more interesting when they are true. Anyway, below are my comments and my lame 1-5 star rating. 5 being the best and which I rarely will ever rate a book. (scroll down...)

Running with Scissors: A Memoir (Augusten Burroughs)	Absolutely hysterical book. Very quick read. Two scenes were a little too explicit for my 'conservative' taste, but that does not take away from the creative writing and amazing story of this childhood and how Augusten ended up to where he is today as a writer. 4 stars.
The Young Che: Memories of Che Guevara (Ernesto Guevara Lynch)	I knew very little about Che Guevara and was intrigued to know more. This book was written by his Dad and explained his childhood and documented all the letters Che wrote to his family (which is the majority of the book) as he traveled up South America and eventually into Central America and Cuba. It was a very good read and quite interesting to see 1.) his progression toward Socialism and 2.) "the other side of the story" to the effects American imperialism had on the everyday people. In short, their life was not good. It documents how he met Fidel Castro and their relationship before and after the invasion of Cuba. Very good book. 4 stars.
Eight Lives Down Chris Hunter	This is probably one of the best books I have ever read. Everyone and anyone should buy this and read it. It's written by a UK bomb expert (IED - the roadside bombs) who is based in Basra and is the only man that knows how to diffuse them. He is so good at what he does the insurgents put a bounty on his head. The stories of him traveling through the villages are astounding. You'll also learn a great amount about Iraqi culture, Iran's involvement, and how incredible the sacrifices these troops make are...all while trying to hold on to a marriage and family. 5 stars.
Fear and Loathing Las Vegas Hunter S. Thompson	I'm probably the last person on Earth to read this but what a phenomenal book. Truly a one-of-a-kind writer. 4 stars.
The Beat: Go-Go's Fusion of Funk and Hip-Hop Kip Lornell	So I finished the Eight Lives Down book faster than anticipated and had to hit a small bookstore in Queensland. The only book I saw that interested me was about the start of go-go music in D.C...following the story of Chuck Brown, EU, and the Junkyard band. Sounded cool. Wow, was I wrong. The author (white guy) spoke on HUGE lengths how about black music originated in tribal Africa and never got to the heart of the story. He repeated himself so much I could not take it anymore after 3 chapters. 0 stars.
Losing My Virginity Richard Branson	Anyone that wants to start a business, but doesn't have the nads to do it (me) should read this book. A lot of good lessons here and just a cool story to see how one person can start from nothing and build an amazing empire. He would have not made it ANYWHERE without the help of his one friend who was in charge of discovering and signing new bands. Branson comes off as a very reasonable person who rarely raises his temper and always tries to compromise. There are a few biographies out there that paint a VASTLY different picture so I'll be curious to read those. Anyway, the major point is that Branson failed in a LOT if not most of his attempts, but the ones he hit, he hit big. 4 stars.

OZ Super Bowl Coverage

2008-02-03T18:12:00.000-08:00

So the Super Bowl was televised on local (free) TV here. The game was broadcast by Dick Stockton and Sterling Sharpe which was extremely painful, though I would rather deal with Sterling Sharpe than Joe Buck. I have never in my life have seen one announcer SO TIED and pulling for one team more than Sterling Sharpe for the Giants. I wish I had wrote down all of the idiotic things he said. Some that stood out were:
- "Wes Welker is more valuable than Randy Moss." Um, if Moss is not on the field, than Welker would not be in single coverage with the safety tied to Moss.
- The other annoying thing is that with any questionable call, Sterling ALWAYS took the Giants side emphatically.
- Anytime there was a big play, Sterling would prefix his sentence with, "Like I said...". I mean, everyone loves to hear someone say how right they were even though their previous statements were very general.

In regards to the game, there were no commercials. Instead, they would kick it back to these 3 Aussie guys who would comment on the progress of the game, one of them a former NFL player. As bad as they were, it was nothing as close to as bad as Steve Salisbury so I could put up with it OK.

One of the 3 commenters was Sav Rocca, who used to play for the Australian Football League, is the punter for the Eagles, and probably took the biggest lick of the year. Rocca was asked how he got along with the marquis players like McNabb, Westbrook, and Dawkins. Unsurprisingly, he said they ignored him and that NFL players don't have the comradery that the Aussie sports have. Haha. Like if I was a punter for the Skins I would really want to hang out with Fred Smoot and Clinton Portis.

Queensland Trip Pictures

2008-02-03T05:19:00.000-08:00

Fraser Island
http://picasaweb.google.com/ewoldt/Fraser/photo#s5159335905705892866

Whitsundays
http://picasaweb.google.com/ewoldt/Queensland/photo#s5161789891105038194

Back in Sydney

2008-01-31T22:57:00.000-08:00

So all in all the trip was fantastic. Because my skydive got rained out, that meant my last day in Cairns I had to choose between the skydive and scuba diving out on the barrier reef. I went with the skydive. Man, what an adrenaline rush that was. Sitting on the edge of the airplane looking down then all of a sudden your tandem instructor just pushes you out. The first 5 seconds is like "Holy shit" but then once you stabilize, it is awesome. I did the 14,000 foot jump which equates to 60 seconds of free fall then 4 minutes of falling after the shoot opens. That is the actual view pictured above I had. I got to control the parachute handles once we were floating for a minute or so which puts you into some major spins. I didn't pay to have the DVD video which is what the extra guy above is doing...that was like $200 extra. Anyway, back in Sydney and back in the grind. Still working on getting all my pics and videos up...that should be another day or so.

I am totally getting screwed in regards to my old apartment. They are having trouble finding someone to take it which means I still have to pay rent on it...so I am paying for 2 apartments in Bondi Beach at peak season...sweet. What a waste of money...$300 USD week for that old one.

Cairns - End of the line

2008-01-29T20:23:00.000-08:00

So I just arrived into Cairns. I was suppose to stop in Mission Beach for the sky dive but it was raining so they canceled it. Of course it is beautiful and sunny right now. So it goes with tropic weather. I rescheduled for tomorrow so hopefully that works out. This is really the first time in my trip I have been able to sit down at a PC...the bus schedule and all my planned trips have been down to the minute. Hopefully before I fly back to Sydney tomorrow I can get a scuba and sky dive in. As for my details on my trip, the 2 days at Fraser Island was really cool. Fraser Island is the largest all sand island in the world, which is interesting in a lot of ways because there are loads of trees, which you wouldn't think could grow out of sand but the sand has lots of minerals. Both days we took a 4X4 throughout the island to swim in natural lakes (pure white sand). We also walked through sand drifts, drove along the ocean, and my favorite part was swimming in the 'Champagne pools'. The pool there on the right is the one I was swimming in. What happens is the waves crash right before the rocks, then splash over causing LOTS of bubbles. The water is fizzing like champagne. It's quite a workout because some waves come over pretty strong and you have to swim at full speed just to stay in the same place you are.

From Fraser Island I headed up to Airlie Beach where the Whitsunday Islands are. Airlie Beach doesn' thave an actual beach because of all the rocks, so there is a huge man-made lagoon in the middle of town that reminded me a lot of the Hard Rock pool in Vegas (minus the tables, blackjack tables, and bar).

This UK couple in their mid-twenties happened to be on the same trips and buses as me for 6 of my 8 days so I became quite good friends with them. From Airlie Beach I hopped on the Clipper for a 2 night sail of the Whitsundays.

There was 49 people on the boat. We sailed all through the Islands snorkling both days. I went scuba diving the last day but it did not come close to the diving in Belize. I hope to do 1 scuba trip here in Cairns which is where all the real Reef action is. On one snorkel trip I came up on a sea turtle and swam along with it. I don't have time to upload my pics to the blog so I'll do that when I'm back in Sydney this weekend. I met this Danish bloke on the boat who's a riot and he happens to be in Cairns right now as well so that will be fun. Cheers mates. Later.

Fraser Island and the Whitsundays

2008-01-28T16:44:00.000-08:00

So I am in Airlie Beach right now. The 2-day boat trip through the Whitsunday islands (pictured above) was awesome. My boat had 49 people on it...people from all over the world that loved partying. I would need a 6-pack and an hour and half to fill you in on all the stories. Staying up til 4am and singing songs with the Irish was one highlight. Tons of drinking games but met some really amazing people. As always I'm the only American in the group, but had to dust off my French and Dutch and after 3 days of hanging with these people, I now have best friends in Switzerland, Denmark, UK, Brazil, German, Holland, Sweden, and Canada eh! It certainly will make traveling better. It's quite funny, an Irish accent after 7+ drinks is 10x more tough to understand than any German accent. Anyway, did some quite amazing snorkeling and scuba in the barrier reef. I'm here in Airlie another night then heading to Mission Beach for the skydive, then tomorrow night to Cairns which is the town closest to the best of the best of the Great Barrier Reef. I'll probably do another scuba dive there. Alright, I'm off for now. I have tons of great pics and will do a proper posting then.

Byron Bay

2008-01-23T13:39:00.000-08:00

So first stop was Byron Bay. Chill beach. Met some awesome people at my hostel and partied late into the night in one of the chessiest bars of all time, Cheeky Monkeys. It made 'Gators' look like the 40-40 club. The dancefloor is all steel tables so everyone has to dance on the tables. I have pics I'll get up when I can. I'm departing now for my 4x4 trip around Fraser Island. Later chumps.

Corey the Legend...

2008-01-16T15:30:00.000-08:00

So I happened to catch this live on the news the other night, and holy shit it is amazing. It's already going around the internet, so if you've already seen it, then nevermind. But anyway, this 16-year old kid's parents were out of town and he threw a party that got up to 500 kids. Multiple police forces had to come, the chopper, the dogs. The kids resisted against the police and neighbors cars/lawns were trashed. The kid decided to do an interview with the News (parents still out of town)...you think he'd be remorseful right? Nope. Not even close. It gets really good towards the end so hang on. His parents still are not back yet and he is not answering their calls and still partying. He was on Opie and Anthony yesterday and is now getting offers to throw parties around here. Jebus.

Itinerary for Jan 22-31 Queensland Vacation

2008-01-14T23:48:00.000-08:00

View Larger Map
So I'm getting to my back-packer roots and heading out on a 8-day tour of the Queensland coast from Jan 22-31, hitting all the awesome beach towns along the Great Barrier Reef coastline. If you open up the map above, you can see my exact itinerary. People usually take 2-3 weeks to do this trip, but I'm cutting it to 8-days, which as the booking agent said, "I've been booking these trips for over 3 years and never heard of anyone try to do this in such little time." Now that everything is booked and paid for, I'm starting to realize what she means. I'm basically doing 2000 miles on a bus with most of the days on boats. That means my skinny, little ass is going to be in a bus seat A LOT for this trip, which is why people take the 2 weeks to break it up. In fact, counting up the total hours I'm on a bus, it's 36.5 hours if all goes well and 5.5 on a plane. And 2 of my "nights" are actually overnight bus trips. Lord help me. One of my bus legs is 12 hours and literally right as I get off the bus, I have to hop on a boat, which is a 2-day/2-night trip. You can be sure I'm bringing the Immodium AD.

Highlights of the trip, since I know you're all too lazy to click the map:
- Lots of scuba/snorkel
- Swimming in natural hot springs, waterfalls, and lagoons with turtles
- Skydiving over the great barrier reef
- 4WD tours through the island wild life, rain-forest
- Completely isolated white sand beaches
- 2 night boat trip through the Whitland Islands on 100-foot party yacht (boat has a disco on it) - scuba/snorkel/beach swims
- Hands On: Impregnate a kangaroo session. (kidding). Although the brochure claims we'll see dingos mating. YouTube definitely needs that video.
- Byron Beach/Airlie Beach - 2 massively famous party towns

I haven't been in a hostel since my last trip to Amsterdam 9 years ago and I'll be in them all week. I wonder what I'm going to get stuck with:
- the 300lb snorer
- the guy on his cell phone all night
- the guy that smells like he crapped himself
- the guy that sleeps on his back spread-eagle in his boxers with the lights fully on picking his nose and eating it.

Probably all the above with one person. I was reading one guy's blog about the 2-night boat tour I'm taking. He, like me, was traveling solo and as the pairings worked out, he got matched up with 2 Swedish girls in his cabin. No way I'm so lucky. My bag will be super small and light since I am starting and ending my trip from Sydney...so I got that going for me....which is nice. Later playas.

New Address (again) & My Office

2008-01-12T23:58:00.000-08:00

I have moved back into my original apartment, which is fantastic b/c I have 24-hour wireless internet, no roaches, and an ocean view again. I've decided to cut my trip short and am coming back most likely in late February. I'm planning a 7-day trip to fly up to Cairns next week and drive down the coast hitting all the beaches (and bars) along the great barrier reef. It should be splendid. I also am hoping to drive the New Zealand coast with my NZ friends here. We'll see if that happens or not. If that doesn't, then I'll probably either just go myself or plan a short trip to Fiji or the Outback.

So here are some pics of my office in North Sydney. A friend of mine who lives/works in DC used to work in Melbourne for WebMethods, and one of his co-workers (whom he is friends with today) started her own company, which is very successful here (it's an IT company with 60+ employees, about 25 or so in my office). After putting the two of us in touch, she was very gracious in giving me some cube space. It is definitely nice having a place to work b/c working from home is not really my style. I take the train over the Harbour Bridge everyday...so not a bad commute.

This is the view from my cube (13th floor).

My desk....

Office view behind me...

Obama vs. Hillary

2008-01-09T19:46:00.000-08:00

So being the only American in Sydney, the new question I get asked all the time is who is going to win the election. And since I am American, I am therefore Miss Cleo and can predict the future. Almost all the Australians I've met seem to want Hillary to win, but don't worry everyone, I am single-handedly turning them all against her. Haha. It's true, my biggest problem with her, besides having to look at this mug everyday for 4 years, is that I really have no idea what her stance is on anything. I do foresee 50% taxes when she gets into office and lots of behind-closed-doors lesbian parties (the butch kind, not the hot ones).
Anyway, the Republican party has no chance given how bad Bush screwed up so I have little faith there, and none of the Republic candidates seem to jump out as being honest people that would make me care. I've been telling the Aussies just to relax because these current polls mean absolute jack squat. Remember how well Kerry was doing and then that picture of him in the bunny suit got released? Bango...his numbers dropped. And they slammed his wife. The mudslinging won't kick into full gear until June and that's when the polls really matter.

As for you today's "Did you know"... it is actually mandatory that every Australian votes in the prime minister election. If you do not, you get fined and have to appear at a court. Their elections are on a Saturday which makes things easier. As I thought initially this was a good idea, it would no way work in the US. The lady I work with who I was talking to this about, I told her, "If you saw some of the people in DC, you would not want them voting." I will never forget the cab I took to Adams Morgan one night where I asked the cab driver who he was voting for in the 2004 election (I did this to all the cabbies for a solid month). His response, which I will paraphrase for you since I am the only fluent Ebonics-ian in this blog group, was:

"Well, all I know is I want to vote for the winner. And I seen that George Bush is winning so far...so I'm going to vote for him".

Lord help us. U-S-A!!! U-S-A!!!

Small World & Best Game Ever

2008-01-06T18:47:00.000-08:00

So I'm walking home from dinner and I see a lot of people in front of the restaurant that I live above. I see one girl that looks A LOT like this girl I went to Loyola with, Deirdre (who one of my good friends dated). I gave a hard look and was like 'Nah, no way.' I heard one person in the group with an American accent, which is actually very rare in Sydney, but I still just walked on. I emailed one of her friends for the hell of it who replied that Deirdre is in fact in Sydney. So I emailed her and met up with her and her boyfriend for drinks. What a small world. It was great seeing someone from Loyola since none of my friends will pony up and come out here! wusses.

As for this telepathic game, its quite amazing. It takes 2 people to do it, so I will need to teach someone back over there the trick to make it work, but the way it works is basically I have someone at the bar (this is a great intro by the way) whisper any celebrity into my ear (you don't hear it). By snapping my fingers anywhere from 1-5 times you say the name of the celebrity. I don't mouth anything to you, it's just really clever. Any of the people who are not in on the joke are literally flabbergasted. I was for sure trying to figure it out and of course they never want to give up the secret, but I figured out half of it overhearing a conversation when they screwed it up once. Either way, we're gonna have a lot of fun with this one back in the States. I'm only going to tell one of you the trick so all you f'ers don't steal it and spread it around like a Paris Hilton STD. I am accepting applications now via Comments.

Cricket Match

2008-01-06T14:55:00.000-08:00

So I went to a cricket match this weekend. Now, before I left the States, I really had no idea what cricket was except it was REALLY boring, similar to baseball, and the ball can be hit in any direction. After going to a match and now knowing ALL the rules, I can tell you that cricket is definitely still REALLY boring. To give a quick run down, cricket matches run for 5 days and are 8 hours a day. There are several breaks in the day for the players/fans to grab lunch and refreshment drinks. Most of the cricket match is talking to people around you, drinking beers, and shouting down to the players. The match I saw was Australia vs. India which are the 2 best teams in the world. So I actually saw the 2 best cricket players in the world and actually the one for India, Sachin Tendulkar, hit ALL day long and never got out. Basically, to get a batter out, which is called a 'wicket', you need to catch the ball off the bat on the fly. There are lots of strategies to position catchers behind the batter and throwing wicked spins on the pitch to get the batter to nick the ball. You can also get him out by pitching and hitting the 3 stakes behind him which I have never seen. Most of the time the batter will simply block the ball down to the ground and wait for the next pitch. Some pitchers do a running start of up to 40 yards before pitching it (all pitches have to bounce once) and can go up to 95 mph.

There was HUGE drama because the game was so close for 4 days going to the last day when India's 2nd best player Singh called Australia's best player, Andrew Sydmonds (pictured here) "a monkey".

There are strict rules against anything like this. Cricket is considered a gentleman's game and fans actually cheer for the other side when there is a good play or a milestone number is hit, so this made front page news on all the papers. What amazes me is that it is quite possible for the game to end in a draw after 5 days of this all day playing. I was like "WHAT??". Australia did end up winning on the last day and Singh got a 3-game ban for future matches.

Again, the stands was more fun. Beer snakes are the big crowd pleasers and this guy won for sure. I happened to catch a picture of him losing the snake which got him booted out of the stadium.

People here are complaining about the humidity, and I just laugh b/c they have NO IDEA what humidity is never being in D.C. in August. If you're curious about the Symonds white lips above, a lot of the players wear sunscreen and Zinc in stylish ways. Symonds is quite famous for this application and has sponsors and what not. I didn't know lips can get sunburnt but I guess so....several players do this.

My name is Ewok and I'll be your Tour Guide for the day....

2008-01-01T15:08:00.000-08:00

So I sucked it up and decided to do the opera house tour last week. As you can tell by the picture, I have paparazzi following me around here too. It's annoying but it is the life I have chosen.

The opera house was a cool tour all-in-all...but the $30 entry fee was definitely over-priced. For that reason, I will give you the tour and all the facts and save yourself the hassle. My new camera arrived and I thought it would be fitting that the first picture I take with it be an old guy in a speedo. You can see that here.

As for the tour, Australia held an open, world-wide competition in 1960 for the design of the opera house, and the Danish architect Jorn Utzon won based solely on this loose sketch. It was originally budgeted for $7 million and 4 years, but ended up costing $102 million, which equates to $2.2 billion in today's currency, and took nearly 10 years to complete. Quite a lot of thought went into this design. The tiles on the outside structure (1 million in total) are 2 different color whites so as the sun moves throughout the day, the opera house actually appears as different colors. There are tons of stairs to get up to the main area and they did this on purpose to give it that cathedral-like feel. There are 5 theaters inside (including the main concert hall) , a couple on the outside grounds, and they do approximately 2000 shows a year. Utzon got booted off the project after he finished the major parts of the outside simply because they thought the project would move faster if Utzon reported to Australian architects. He refused to do that and flew back to Denmark, and though still alive today, he has never been back to Australia to see the completed building. The lights of the concert hall were out when I did my tour but here's a picture of the inside.

Everything including the seats is wood so the acoustics are truly amazing although the inside does not have that 'wow' factor like the Royal Albert Hall in London has. Anyway, they never use microphones for any shows (except for rock singers). Notice the clear 'acoustic discs' hanging from the ceiling...those lower a bit and actually are used to bounce the sound back down to the musicians so they can hear the other instruments as they are playing. This organ is also the largest in the world. There are 136 viewable pipes, but there are 10,000 in total...the wall where the pipes are go back 30 yards were the rest are. It has 5 keyboards as well. I was like..."is that many pipes really necessary?" Especially since it took several years just to tune it.

So these 'tour guide' videos are kind of poopy and the jokes are lame, especially the worst Ali G impression of all time. I am still learning this new camera so sorry for the bad angles but enjoy.

There are no supportive beams in the opera house construction. Everything is held together with support wires as this picture kind of shows.

Happy New Years Mates....

2007-12-31T16:37:00.000-08:00

So the new years party in Sydney is the bomb. I ended up spending it with my old flatmate Allison, her 2 friends in town, and Sean (the guy whose room I lived in for those first few weeks) and his girlfriend. We went to the harbor bridge to catch the 9pm fireworks, first buying all the most annoying things we could find from the street vendors, then hightailed it back to the beach for the big Groove Armada party on Bondi Beach. I avoided a near disaster early in the night when a female cop on a horse freaked out and accused me of throwing a beer at her horse. Ten cops swarmed and threw me against the wall. I was like, "How did I throw a beer at a horse when I am holding a full can of beer?" The cops after 10 minutes or so realized I was right and let me go. They had the COPS cameras there and about 35 people stood to watch this show. Or maybe they were all just looking at my bling...who knows. It was all good though. I wasn't at all drunk at this point and that got diffused, however I suffered a major casualty in that my hat was taken away. Not a big deal considering, though the cops gave me my beer back. After a brief dance off on in the street, which I won of course, we headed to the beach. It was just a massively good time. Here's some video of the new years party...10,000 people.

Grrrrrr

2007-12-29T17:58:00.000-08:00

So I just blogged about my opera house endeavors and the videos I uploaded, which took an hour for me to upload, failed at the last second. Grrr. I'll try again tomorrow, but in the meantime, you can enjoy my picture with the Aborigines. When I was around them, my first thought was, "Wow, they really remind me of the girls that McGrane hooks up with."

The one guy playing the instrument on the right stopped to check his cell phone...nice.

Christmas and Boxing Day

2007-12-26T17:18:00.000-08:00

So you're probably thinking, spending Christmas at a beach has gotta suck. You don't have all the cold weather, snow, holly, miserable dogs dressed up in reindeer outfits, egg nog, 2 hour masses, blah blah. I thought that too but was wrong. I definitely miss the family, but 80 degree weather and sunshine pretty much ends all that. On Christmas day, from 12-5pm, there was a huge party here on Bondi Beach. It was actually overcast and windy, so most people laid out and bbq'd up on the grass hill. My flat mate and I actually sat near this guy pictured above. You can see he's buried in sand standing up. He was that way before I got there and was that way when I left an hour and half later. The ocean swim is quite a tradition and as cold as it was, it was fun as could be.

From there I went for Christmas dinner at my flatmate's parents house, which is a gorgeous house up in the Mosman hills (Northern suburb of Sydney) overlooking several beaches. Elliot got a remote control helicopter which he tried out in the house, and of course, as soon as it took flight, it landed smack down on the Mom's wine glass shattering it to pieces. Wine was everywhere...walls, counter. Everyone laughed and had 'no worries' (even though it was a vintage wine)! All part of the laid back culture I enjoy here. The next day (Dec. 26th) is Boxing Day, which is also a holiday. The big Sydney-Hobart (Tazmania) yacht race kicks off this day and we had an amazing view of that, which I added some pics of down below.

Well...holidays are over...back to work. It's a shame, the first thing I see when I open the newspapers is 1.) Paris Hilton's to-be inherited fortune was given to charity, and 2.) Jamie Lynn's Spears (Britney's 16 y.o. sister) is pregnant with some other guy's baby...some older executive that would face jail time for sure. Regardless, how is this news?!? There are so many more interesting things going on. Oh well, gotta run. Cheers!

Bondi Beach Christmas Day...overcast and chilly (65 degrees I'd guess). Locals have been saying this has been the oddest weather they have ever remembered.

My flat mate's family. The girl second to right is a family friend of his 2 sisters who are not pictured. The parents are hysterical. I could talk in the same unfiltered manner as I do my friends at home. Cursing included! haha.

Start of the Hobart race. You can see the DHL (yellow) boat (coming towards you) is over the line and thus got penalized. The large boat in front is Wild Oats, the winner the last 2 years and the favorite this year.

View behind me...

Christmas Time...Jews for Jesus

2007-12-24T13:55:00.000-08:00

OK people. It's Christmas time and no one is in giving the spirit but me....ie...no one posts any comments anymore and I am getting no love back. I know you're all reading these posts because the stats show it...but I need some love back. I sent a whole heap of post cards out too and nothing except one thanks. Just for this reason, I'm buying all my Christmas gifts for you from this store. This store really exists here in Bondi. Haha, weird. Unfortunately no t-shirts. I went to a great Christmas Eve party last night and am going to my flat mate's family's house for dinner tonight. Gimme so love people.

Cheers, happy Festivus, and Merry Christmas.

Note, if you go to that website above, here is what the website says:

Jews for Jesus is an international organisation of Jewish people who believe that Jesus is the Messiah and Saviour of the world. We exist to make the messiahship of Jesus an unavoidable issue to our Jewish people worldwide.

I am no genius, but if you believe Jesus is the Messiah, then that makes you a Christian. I am 99% sure this store will have a 'Out of Business...For Lease' sign in the window within the coming weeks.

Daft Punk Concert - Sydney 12/22/07

2007-12-22T21:03:00.000-08:00

So Saturday was crazy. My roommate Elliot and I went over to his friend's house where there was a pre-party at 10:30AM. We had a bus take about 50 of us to the concert at Olympic Park. It was pretty much pandemonium. They had a Jagermeister tent hooked up with a Red Bull tent, and the party was on. I'm also 100% sure I was the only person not on drugs. The bus ride into the show was a riot because 10 minutes after we left, this guy realized he had forgot his wallet, which also had his ticket. He was pretty bombed so we dropped him off and continued without him. Well, 5 minutes later the guy who was sitting next to him found his wallet. Turns out the kid put it in that mesh backing of his bus seat and forgot...he was pretty bombed so not surprising. I told everyone my similar story when I lost my Skins/Lions Club level playoff ticket at the gate...only to find it on the inside of my hat after I entered the stadium on a scalped ticket. Haha, good times. Anyway, I don't know how he got to the show without his wallet, but it was a $100 cab and he did meet back up with us. Inside was pretty nuts. DJ booths all over the park playing and people getting loose. When Daft Punk came on it was insane...I tried to capture some video with my poopy camera which is below. My new camera gets here in a week which I look forward too...thanks ma.

Anyway, after the show I got split up from everyone and got lost. I asked a guard where bus stop 7 was, he looked at his map, didn't know, so he said 'follow me'. Now, for those of you that don't know Daft Punk, they're 2 French DJs that are mega superstars world-wide. They always wear helmets when they do any public appearance and no one knows what they look like. If you Google them, the only picture you'll see is from 10 years ago and that is the only one.

The conversation with this guard (as we're cutting through the Olympic security area) went like this:
Guard : So, where are you from?
Me: The States.
Guard: (laughing) I'm from Iraq!
Me: Oh boy, well, I gotta say it's a shame how things are going and just to let you know the majority of the US feels that way too.
Guard: Oh no. I totally agree with everything the US is doing. It's a good thing!
Me: Really? OK good then. I am actually going to Falluja next week for business.
Guard: WHAT?! Really?
Me: No...haha. I enjoy how my head is attached to my body.

He then went on to talk about how he very sadly and disturbingly saw a US soldier get shot and then dismembered. I immediately cut him off and refocused him back on getting me to bus stop 7. At this point we had gone past several different security checkpoints and fences and I am now standing next to the tunnel where several people were standing and waiting, including a collection of really hot girls and an area with some couches. I knew I was at the backstage access and told the guard 'Lets ask these people'. At that moment the 2 members of Daft Punk walked right into where I was standing. One immediately went one way and the other went back into this lounge area. As soon as I went to take my first 1-inch step towards the lounge area, which was still 15 yards away, this massive security guard screamed at me and the guard and escorted us out. Game over. Well, I ended up making it back to the bus and it was quite the highlight seeing the faces of 2 quite illusive people. The highlight of the show was when they mixed 'Stronger' and 'Around the World' on top of each other.

DJ playing house music waiting for Daft Punk to come out...

Stadium during DJ set..

Entrance into show...

My roommate Elliot on the far right and friend Matt next to him.

The bus and party where much more raucous then these pictures lend. These people know how to party. Maybe these videos will show that. At the time it seemed like a great idea to pan the crowd but that failed miserably.

One More Time...

More stable view...

More...

Aussie Beer Pong...

2007-12-21T16:27:00.000-08:00

So my flat mate and I went one of his friend's house parties. I walked in and the first thing I saw was the ping pong table in the dining room. Now, anyone that knows me knows that if there is a stupid drinking game, I am the king of it. If I had a penny for the number of times I have been asked for an autograph at FedEx Field for my Beruit skills, I'd be a rich man. Anyway, once I got on the table, I never left. 3 hours! The rules are simple and involve paddles. It's 2 on 2...hit the ball back back and forth. If it hits one of the 2 drinks in front of you (1 spirit, 1 beer)...you drink a sip. If you knock over one swinging for a shot, you're out and the next person in line jumps in. That's it...so there really are no teams or score per say. If your shot lands in the spirit, then that person has to down it and they're out. I had 1 of those and it was quite glorious. It gets interesting because sometimes on shots the ball hits both cups and you gotta drink both. Either way, I came, I saw, I conquered. NEXT!

That's all for now..I'm off to the Daft Punk concert...all day thing at the fairgrounds. More to come on that for sure.

Sambuca shots....

2007-12-19T15:16:00.000-08:00

So I went out with my flat mate last night and we met up with his co-worker, who had a bunch of Switzerland friends in town. One was a professional ski instructor and does all the extreme skiing you see in those videos with 70% slopes. He probably thought I was retarded because I could not stop laughing anytime he talked. He sounded exactly like a 1980 Arnold Schwarzenegger but better. Anyway, we pretty much took over the place with Sambuca shots...the difference being after you take the shot, you leave it in your throat, then using a lighter, light the inside of your mouth to cause a constant running flame. After 3 seconds or so you just close up your mouth and take it down. There was 7 of us doing these and by the 3rd round, the bartender was furious and cut us off that game. I guess they didn't want the liability if someone's face caught on fire...which has happened...

(wrong way)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBMjWXQ72ug

(proper way)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmqlfEImUXk&feature=related

Coming to a Whole Foods near you...

2007-12-18T23:48:00.000-08:00

They're actually pretty damn tasty....too bad they'll never jump the Pacific to the US solely because of the name and 'outrage' it would spark....similar to when BK came out with its 4 patty Stacker. My high school friend Pete Rogers could eat 6 of these Stackers in a sitting. All I know is when the time comes to leave Australia, I'm leaving all my clothes here and filling up my suitcases with cheese and bacon balls.

Surfing 101

2007-12-15T17:22:00.001-08:00

So my first day/attempt of surfing is in the books. I mean, if Sean "I can't parallel park a car" White can surf, my theory is anyone can. I couldn't have asked for better waves for my first time. There were 2 breaks about 10 yards apart, 1 large and 1 small, so I stuck with the small ones which were about 5 feet high. I noticed some surfing lessons going on for these 10 year old kids, so I swam next to them to see what they were doing. (And 'yes Pete, they probably did weigh more than me). Anyway, I'm glad I did because the first lesson was riding the wave after it breaks, then standing up. A nice quick way to learn to stand. Unfortunately, it didn't do much good for me. I was able to almost fully stand a couple times but for the most part it was pretty disastrous. At two different times the chord got wrapped around my ankle and another between my toes. I learned a good amount though and plan to give it another go. I had to jump out after 30 minutes because it was just too crowded. Here's the final tallies:

Number of times I...:
...hit the walls in my building with my surfboard walking to and from the beach: 7
...stood up fully: 0
...got into the 'crouching tiger' (near standup): 2
...got yelled at by the lifeguard: 1
...almost got ran over by a real surfer: 1 (and it was close)
...bumped a pedestrian walking with my surfboard: 1*

* - she technically walked into my surfboard but I was standing in the middle of a busy sidewalk with it held horizontally, so I'll take the blame there.

I had drinks at the Opera Bar last night which is an outdoor bar in front of the Opera House overlooking the bridge and Circular Quay (Key) area. Quite a view. I'll post more on that later.

Got my new doje...just in time for Christmas....

2007-12-13T19:45:00.000-08:00

401/136 Curlewis St.
Bondi Beach, NSW 2026
Australia

So the kid has his own flat now, so all that money you've been saving all year to buy my Christmas present, you now have a place to send it! I can move in today but it's not as nice as my current one and the utilities are not setup, so I'm gonna milk this one for all its worth (another week). Being able to walk to the beach was key. So now that it's official, anyone and everyone can get their pale asses over here and visit me. It's 80 and sunny today. :-)

Best Beer Pong/Beruit tables of All Time

2007-12-12T01:50:00.000-08:00

So it's a slow week...weather is overcast, and I've been looking diligently for an apartment, as my current one is ending soon. Anyway, to feed the fish, here's a blog I found of the best beer pong tables of all time. I disagree with some of the rankings but #1 is pretty solid. I actually thought #15 was the winner. How my (and thousands of other people's) bing bong table (suitcase one) is not on here I don't know. I still plan on building my 'stadium' at some point that has in the table: 1.) an automated self-refreshing water cup (like at the dentist office), 2.) movie cup holders on the side, 3.) an integrated keg or fridge, and 4.) an automated 're-racker' is not out of the picture either...but I am ahead of myself. In time..in time.

I plan to try surfing this weekend so look for a post on that. If you don't see a blog entry by Monday morning, call Bondi Beach hospital! haha. Don't worry Mom, the waves here right now are about as big as the waves from a bathtub fart.

http://www.pongalong.com/Beerblog/index.php/the-33-best-beer-pong-tables-ever-created/

Mayweather/Hatton Fight.....

2007-12-08T23:04:00.000-08:00

So one of the local bars had the big fight on all their big screens. To my surprise, there were hunderds of people, the bar was super-packed, and it was rowdy as all hell (The Hatton song and God Save the Queen was going off routinely pre-fight). The fight went off at 4PM Sunday here. I went into the fight rooting for Hatton...as was 99% of the bar, but when the bar decided to boo the US national anthem, I instantly began pulling for Mayweather. And it worked out because I walked away a winner. There's nothing that beats winning, and Lord knows I don't experience this feeling much with DC sports. What a nasty left hook though. I know even before Hatton spoke his first words post-match he was gonna wine about Mayweather's elbows and hands, but he said it best, 'it isn't a tickle fight.'

So the bar cheered for every single celebrity except 1. Any guess of who? Will Farrell, Beckham, Bruce Willis, Brangelina....all huge cheers, then ....... Mario Lopez....crickets. Haha. I wonder if the cameraman lost his job for showing him. Seriously...who cares about AC? Although I've always wanted to buy one of these.

On a side note, I really need to bring my camera to the beach. I was laying out today and looked over to see this elderly Asian man chasing his umbrella which was rolling in the wind. Now this fella was about 50 years old, was wearing a black thong, and was wearing a clear, plastic, shower cap. Pretend you had to balance 2 eggs on toothpicks and run down the beach...this is how this guy ran. He caught the umbrella just next to where I was laying...and when he reached down to grab it, all the newspapers and loose bread in his hand fell out and started rolling down the beach. So then he's running down the beach (with the umbrella fully extended) chasing the papers. And as we all know, chasing paper is impossible. As soon as it stops and you bend over, it takes off again. At this point, 60% of the beach is watching this show. I am still BAFFLED as to why he has the shower cap on. I stopped the papers and as he reached to grab them from me, loose bread fell out of his hand and into the sand. He naturally picked up the bread out of the sand and I saw him eating it later. This guy. OH MAN. I really am sorry I don't have video of this because my descriptive explanation cannot do justice. And it's not like I was laying out near the ocean...we were back probably 50 meters from the ocean near the wall....so why the shower cap STILL?! Hopefully he'll be there next week and you can judge for yourself.

And the Winner Is.....

2007-12-07T23:49:00.000-08:00

So from my previous post, my camera is the worst. This was suppose to be the most glorious post ever, yet I got some make shift pics...and of the 10 contestants, my camera decided to crap out on the pics for the 2 runner ups. Either way, Miss Bondi Beach 2007 was crowned today, and as always, I'll make an either/or quiz out of it. Below are the girls...see if you can guess the winner (I was way off). Sorry Mom, I know this post is worthless for the family, but as a journalist, the show must go on. Met some hysterical people today....

Contestant #1:

Contestant #2:

Contestant #3:

Contestant #4:

Contestant #5:

Contestant #6:

Contestant #7:

And the winner is.........

ps - those Energizer MAX batteries I JUST bought for my camera...they're done. They were in my camera for a max of 25 minutes. WTF?

UPDATE: So a professional cameraman here in Bondi posted his pics...so go here if you want to see the real deal.

Don't ever buy this camera.....

2007-12-07T23:35:00.000-08:00

So I am blogging from the Miss Bondi 2007 FINALS, and sure enough, my camera batteries die. Not a HUGE deal, there's a store across the street that sells AA batteries. If my camera was a girl, it would be the equivalent of Paris Hilton. I bought the cheapest AA batteries they had, walked out, and was loading them in when I was walking back to the show. Sure enough, the camera would not start up. Even with brand new batteries. So like a p-whipped boyfriend, I ran back to the convenience store and bought the expensive Energizer MAX batteries...sure enough, the camera started right up. What a priss. Either way, when I leave the batteries in my camera (with the camera off)...they're dead within a week. So my advice to the world...never buy a camera that runs on AA.

And for those people that say 'buy the rechargeable AA's'...oh, I did that. This ate the sh!t out of them. Seriously, the batteries fully charged would not even last the night. The money I spend in batteries for this P.O.S. could have gotten me here business class.

Whats Annoying About Sydney (Part II)

2007-12-05T21:58:00.000-08:00

So I really have nothing bad to say about Sydney...after all, its 80 degrees, there's not a cloud in the sky, I got my slurpee (the real deal 7-11), and this is the view from 'my desk' in my apartment I just took a picture of.

BUT, I certainly was perturbed last night. A couple kiwis (New Zealanders) I had met last week and I met out for some drinks at this club. Now, in the states you gotta be 21 to get in, so the fake ID'ers are usually 19 and up. Down under, its 18 to get in, so the fake ID'ers are 15 and up. I felt like I was at an eighth grade mixer at times. Now, I have NO IDEA how this one girl got in, but I seriously thought she was about 11. She had braces, was 4 foot nothing, and was about 70 pounds if that. Plus she was wearing some evening gown type thing. At first I laughed, but then I was just really disturbed. She was on the dance floor too where all these guys and girls were dancing. The one Aussie standing next to me I was like, 'what the hell is that?'...and he laughed and said, 'Aye mate. We just punt them out of the way.' I don't have a picture, but googling around for 'tween'(which is disturbing in itself), I found a picture that looked A LOT like this tweener. Now, I ask you, what would you do if you were at the Angry Inch dance floor and saw this girl dancing??? (but with braces) ... the one in the middle. I'm sure the comments are gonna flood in on this post. haha.

Knowing the Meringolo brothers, they probably have already made this picture their screensaver.

Asians + Beach = Hilarity

2007-12-01T23:33:00.000-08:00

So I finally got to hit the beach. It only took 6 days (2 of which it rained and the rest was working). I feel my blog has become a bit of a 'bash' blog, but it's just too funny to let these findings go undocumented. Today (Sunday) the beach was super-busy. They were having the "Life Guards Competition"...which is a 3-day ironman competition for life guards of all countries. The Australian teams absolutely destroyed everyone. I didn't see any Americans in the competition but having seen the ones in Dewey, OC, and even San Diego...they would have stood 0% chance.

As for the beach, it had everything. Speedos (some reallly nasty ones), topless girls, surfing as far as you could see, and some unbelievable people watching. My favorite had to be this group of about 8 Asians next to me. Ok, so not to offend any of my Asian friends, this could have easily been a group of Irish people and it would have been equally funny! :-) However, most of the Asians stay up top by the pavillion and snap photos, but this one brave group decided to rough it down in the dirt. They were all fully clothed: 2 guys were wearing black slacks, another black jeans, and another capri pants (all long sleeve shirts), the 3 or so girls were wearing dresses that went head to toe with hats (and they never took off any clothing). Then they set up their umbrella. Oh man, video of this would have won me thousands of dollars. All 8 of them were huddled underneath this umbrella like it was raining nails. I'm pretty convinced they don't sell any suntun lotion in Asia under SPF 75. They stayed like this for hours...they didn't seem at all comfortable, but they definitely were enjoying the fact that they made it to the beach. Well, at least they didn't get burned like me. Those damn spray lotions are tough to apply on the reverse side.

I got a new flatmate today who's just my style...going out and good times. He told me that the apartment we're living in now is owned by Jack Donovan, a famous Australian actor who is the equivalent of David Hasselhoff to America (including the laugh factor). He got publicly dumped by Kylie Minougue so that surely didn't help. Sweet pad though for sure.

Miss Bondi 2007

2007-12-01T22:32:00.000-08:00

So its a known party in Bondi Beach for the annual Miss Bondi competition. It was supposed to start at 1PM...I got there around 1:30PM, but the place was dead. Unlike the US, when it rains at the beach, people do not hit the bars. I went back at 3:30 and the place had grown to 200 people or so. The pictures don't really do justice, but you're probably sitting at a desk right now at work reading this, so what else do you have to do?

A couple things of interest. In this picture, any time the girl on the far right exhaled (which was about once every 4 minutes)...her belly button would pop to an outtie, just like if you were to stick out your rolled tongue. It was freaky.

The other funny part was every girl had to answer 3 questions,

"What is your favorite part of your body?"
"What is your favorite food?"
"What is your favorite thing about the beach?"

It was pretty clear these girls had no coaching because all but 1 of them had the exact same answers. For food...'Chocolate', and about the beach, 'Boys'. The only funny response that provoked a major crowd response was when the girl on the right was asked her favorite body asset.

She replied, "My boobs because they cost $10,000." Haha, I was like, 'Good job...and now you're in a contest where the winner gets a free beach towel.' Actually, a former Miss Bondi winner ended up winning Miss Australia and then Miss Universe in 2004 (Jennifer Hawkins)...so I guess there is still that dream. I don't know, most of them on Saturday wouldn't have even cut it as hand models. Haha, wow, I sound so pretentious. But lets be honest, with as much time as I spend at the gym working on my physique, I certainly am in a spot to judge. Plus, they're on stage to be judged. I actually have started working out here, its pretty easy with this backdrop. My goal is to get my biceps over 4 inches in diameter. I'm gunning for you Pete Rogers. Anyway, the finals are next Saturday so I'm sure you're dying for the outcome of that. Later mates.

Whats Annoying About Sydney

2007-11-30T21:44:00.000-08:00

So UK/Italy are the fashion capitals of the world. Whatever is in style there one winter/summer, is popular in the US the next winter/summer...and Paris Hilton of course acclaims she bridges that gap. Unfortunately, Australia style trickles down off the US...so of course, just as that SUPER ANNOYING fad of super big sunglasses was dying out in the US...it is full blown here in Australia....and of course so are those advert t-shirts like "C0nserve water...drink beer". UGH! Any sunglass stand I see from a distance I think they're selling helmets...but of course, its those Armani and Dior sunglasses that cover 98% of the face.

I want to start a petition where everyone in the US throws in $1.00 to a bank account, and we pay off TMZ and every paparrazo to not cover a single story about Paris Hilton. Hopefully it'll be the same effect as turning on the light with a cockroach, she runs away and you'll never see it again. Don't get me started about her publicly stating she wants kids. TMZ is set for life if that happens. The census says the US is 300 million, but by the # of illegals in my old building in DC alone ...its probably closer to 400 million. So that's $400 million to the paparazzi. They can retire and be done and we can live in peace.

What has Paris even done? All the terrible perfumes and songs came AFTER she was famous. Why is she famous?!! Why are people obsessed? I mean, the 76 different STDs she has is kind of interesting, but again, thats all AFTER she's famous. Jesus, now I am pissed off again. OK, i gotta run. Its the Miss Bondi Beach competition today...get out your big, bug-eyes sunglasses.

I am no longer homeless!!...temporarily

2007-11-29T15:19:00.000-08:00

So with one day to spare until my hotel reservation expired (everything is sold out)...I got lucky and found an ad on craigslist for an apartment for 3 weeks. This is a PRIME-A apartment in regards to location. The dude is actually an American who moved here for 3 years ago for the summer and never left. He was actually the punter for Stanford which is kind of funny. By the picture it might be tough to tell, but he is straight and doesn't look too much like that pic anyway. haha. Anyway, it was good to talk to someone to help me out on where to go. For example, I never would have known the Ms. Bondi competition is this Saturday, who a former Ms. Universe won.

Anyway, the other 2 roomates, one is supposedly hooked up all over town so hopefully I can hit the town with some people and not be that tourist at the end of the bar crying in his drink. haha. Actually, a lot of the bars here have no bar stools so that makes it even worse. I've actually been too busy to go out yet anyway. I went down to my hotel bar Tuesday night for a drink and started talking to this one drunk dude who had an accent thicker than I have ever heard. Turns out he's from the Highlands of Scotland. I made the mistake of telling him that my grandmother was from Scotland to which "Ewww-en" (Ewan) replied, "Ah, ya ne'er beeen to Scootland? Aye, what r ya wait'in fur? GO HOME!! Your grand muver iz turn'in in hur grrrave! GO HOME!" At which point he left to go have a smoke, so I started chatting it up with some New Zealanders and about every 30 minutes for the next 2 hours I would just hear out of nowhere, "GGGO HOME!". haha, classic. here's some pics of my new digs. See the red dot for the location. I gotta be out of here by Dec 23rd but that should give me enough time to find another place.

Living room:

Bedroom:

Bedroom view:

Becks and the Olympic Stadium

2007-11-28T00:49:00.000-08:00

I
So at lunch with some people in my office I found out Beckham was playing at the Olympic Stadium. Sold out? No problem. After dealing with the scumbags outside Verizon center, this should be a snap...and it was. The scalpers were actually really polite and it was haggle free, but I was not paying $100 to see Becks. Hanging around will call I ran into some chicks who had an extra and got it for $10 under face. They wanted $20 over and I was like "all I got is $50" and the other girl to her friend was like "take it!!". haha, great negotiators. Of course I had like seven 50's in my wallet when I went to pay, but whatver.

Holy crap Olympic Park is bad ass. The stadium is cool as shit. here are some pics of that. The locals I was sitting with I was getting along with great, until I took a jab at Sydney FC's uniforms:

Me: "Don't you think Sydney FC's uniforms look funny?"
Girl: "How do you mean?"
Me: "They look like something gays would wear to bed."

The people around me got a big kick out of this but I was just being serious. The LA Galaxy blow bad, and I left pretty much after Landon Donovan got red carded and applauded himself running off the field while everyone booed him. Amazing how one player can get booed so much. All he needs is to play a match in Antartica and he's got all 7 continents covered.

One thing is clear is that Australia is similar to America in its need for celebrity gossip. People were going NUTS to see Beckham. These Sydney FC games usually pull in max of 20,000 people and this was sold out. Almost every kid I saw was wearing a LA Galaxy Beckham jersey. Anytime he did a corner kick, it was like the World Series first pitch....camera flashes everywhere. And when he scored on that free kick from the top of the key with a nice bender...holy shit, you would have thought they announced world peace. The stadium went bananas. I am still without an apartment so i gotta jet.

I have arrived....

2007-11-27T15:48:00.000-08:00

So the plane ride was actually pretty easy...I can't imagine my flight if I did not have the seat next to me open. I actually had the whole row but some obese lady decided to sprawl all over it before I could (on her back). It was not a pretty site.

It was pretty cool walking around my new digs once I dropped my crap off. This picture doesn't do justice, but it will this weekend when I repost some pictures of me and my bird cage chest on this sunny piece. A couple quick observations:

1.) A ton of the dudes wear this hairstyle that is a cross between the rat tail and mullet. It looks retarded.
2.) My first meal was Fish and Chips and my waitress had a hickey the size of a softball and didn't seem to give 2 shits.
3.) Look RIGHT when crossing the street. I almost got plowed twice. (2 americans actually died in Brisbane on Monday from this).
4.) the food IS TERRIBLE. My belt is defintely looser if you can believe that. Holy crap the food is terrible. I am considering going to McDonalds tonight and I hate McDs.
5.) My new office is money. I take the harbour bridge everyday to work and see the opera house and full skyline. More pics of that to come.

Ok, i'm in this all Chinese internet shop...gotta jet.

PS - This is the emptiest you'll ever see this beach (9am on a Monday). You can barely see the sand on packed days.